Heineken 5% ABVHeineken
Pale Lager

Quickly after pouring my Heineken into a glass, I smell the wafting scent of a skunky light beer of European origin.  I’m sure this beer tastes better fresh on tap in the Netherlands, but it is not meant to withstand the journey across the Atlantic to North American shores.  That or perhaps it is just not that good of a beer.  These taste thoughts are based upon my previous trysts with this brew.  Let’s see if they hold up as I take my first sip from this glass.

Well it’s not as bad as I was bracing my taste buds for…wait, wait, there’s the stale aftertaste I had remembered.  The one thing that is missing from my past dalliances with this brew is the sweetness I always use to complain about.  I suppose that’s an improvement of sorts.  I am really not enjoying this brew.  At least its light I suppose, but for being the Bud Light of Holland it is not nearly as easy to drink.  Bud Light isn’t off putting; there just isn’t much in the way of complexity or flavor to it.  Heineken is more offensive and you are reminded with every sip of the strong power of marketing.  They do put out entertaining television commercials.

If I ever make it over to Holland I am going to try a Heineken on draft just to see if it the lack of transport time does make a difference.  I hope that it will be a more enjoyable experience, but I will go into that tasting with the lowest of expectations.  It’s been awhile since I’ve struggled to get through a beer, and while this isn’t body convulsing bad, it’s almost worse.  At least with some of the putrid beers I’ve reviewed before they offered a disgustingly revolting experience as to prompt some quite descriptive detailing.  This beer is bad in the blandest of ways.  Sadly I’m going to now gulp down the last 2/3rds of my glass and call it a day.  It’s now time to run for some water to wash out the bad taste in my mouth.

Heineken states that they have been using the same brewing method since 1873 to make this beer.  I can’t help the fact that I am becoming a beer snob, as the sales figures for this beer show that the masses love it.  Never underestimate the power of marketing.  I hope that the Netherlands World Cup team performs better than their country’s most popular beer did in this tasting.

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